What My 20s are Teaching Me

Lessons I’ll Carry throughout my life

Your 20s are a peculiar blend of feeling as though you have endless time and simultaneously no time at all. They are filled with first experiences, mistakes, transformations, and moments of "what on earth am I doing?" Even though my 20s are not yet over, I have entered the latter half of this decade and am continually learning and growing, not just from my own experiences but also from the people around me. Thinking back, I’ve realized my 20s weren’t just about milestones, they were about learning the kind of lessons that quietly shape who I am.

Here’s are some of the lessons I have learned and hope to carry through life.

• Your 20s aren't a race

  Some people get married, buy homes and have kids early. Other travel, go back to school, or change career multiple time. Everything is valid. Entering your 20s can often feel like stepping onto a fast-moving treadmill, where the pressure to achieve certain milestones can be overwhelming. Society frequently bombards young adults with expectations about what they should accomplish during this transformative decade: graduating from college, securing a stable job, finding a partner, and perhaps even settling down to start a family. However, it is crucial to recognize that your 20s are not a race; they are a unique period of exploration, self-discovery, and personal growth. During this decade, you have the opportunity to explore various career paths, travel to new places, and meet diverse individuals who can shape your worldview. Each experience contributes to your personal narrative, allowing you to learn more about your passions, strengths, and values. It is essential to embrace this journey rather than rush through it, as the lessons learned during this time can significantly impact your future.

  Moreover, comparing your progress to that of your peers can lead to unnecessary stress and anxiety. Social media often portrays a curated version of life, showcasing only the highlights and achievements of others. This can create a false sense of urgency and inadequacy, making you feel as though you are falling behind. In reality, everyone’s path is different, and it is perfectly acceptable to take your time to figure things out. Some may find their calling early on, while others may take longer to discover what truly fulfills them.

  
  

• Friends can be Seasonal

  - Not everyone is meant to be in every chapter of your life, and that is perfectly okay. Life is a journey filled with various experiences, challenges, and transformations, and throughout this journey, the people we encounter can significantly influence our path. Some individuals are destined to walk alongside us for a brief moment, while others may stay for longer stretches, and this ebb and flow is a natural part of our personal development. It's essential to recognize that relationships can serve different purposes at different times; some may provide support during tough times, while others may inspire us to grow or challenge our perspectives. Embracing the idea that not everyone will remain in our lives indefinitely allows us to appreciate the moments shared without clinging to the past. Each relationship, whether fleeting or enduring, contributes to our growth, teaching us valuable lessons about love, trust, and even heartbreak. Accepting this fluidity can lead to a more profound understanding of ourselves and the world around us, helping us to cultivate meaningful connections with those who resonate with our current selves. Ultimately, this perspective fosters a sense of peace, encouraging us to let go of relationships that no longer serve our journey while remaining open to new connections that align with our evolving identity.

  
  

• Boundaries are a form self-love

  - The right people won’t be upset when you take the necessary steps to protect your peace. Instead, they will understand and respect your need for tranquility and mental well-being. These individuals recognize the importance of maintaining a balanced and harmonious life, and they appreciate the boundaries you set to ensure that your emotional and psychological health is prioritized. They will support your decisions, knowing that your peace is essential not just for you, but also for the quality of your relationships with them. In contrast, those who may react negatively to your efforts to safeguard your peace often reveal their own insecurities or lack of understanding. Surrounding yourself with supportive and empathetic individuals fosters an environment where you can thrive without the weight of unnecessary stress or conflict. It is crucial to cultivate relationships with people who uplift you and honor your choices, allowing you to navigate life with a sense of calm and assurance.

• Self-care isn't just face mask

  - Sometimes it's meal prepping, doing laundry, or saying "no" without guilt. Maintaining a balanced diet but also reduces the stress of last-minute cooking. By dedicating a few hours on the weekend to chop vegetables, marinate proteins, and portion out snacks, individuals can ensure they have healthy options readily available, promoting better eating habits. It can also be a creative outlet, allowing for experimentation with different recipes and flavors. Additionally, doing laundry is another essential task that often gets overlooked in the hustle and bustle of daily life. Taking the time to sort, wash, and fold clothes can bring a sense of order and cleanliness to one's living space. It’s a routine that, while mundane, contributes to a well-organized home environment.

  
  

• Money skills matter more than money amounts

  - Learning how to budget and save will take you further than chasing quick money. Budgeting and saving effectively is a vital skill that can significantly enhance your financial well-being and long-term stability, ultimately taking you much further than merely pursuing quick money-making schemes. When you develop a comprehensive understanding of budgeting, you gain the ability to allocate your resources wisely, ensuring that you can meet your immediate needs while also planning for future expenses and investments. Budgeting involves creating a detailed plan that tracks your income and expenses, allowing you to identify areas where you can cut unnecessary costs and redirect those funds towards savings or investments. This disciplined approach not only helps you manage your day-to-day finances but also cultivates a sense of responsibility and awareness about your spending habits.

  
  

• You will outgrow versions of yourself

  -Growth means leaving old habits, styles, and sometimes people behind. This process of growth is not merely a superficial change; it often requires a deep and introspective examination of one’s life choices, beliefs, and relationships. As individuals embark on their journey of personal development, they may find that certain habits, which once provided comfort or security, can become detrimental to their progress. These habits might include procrastination, negative self-talk, or unhealthy coping mechanisms that hinder their ability to thrive.

  Moreover, styles that once defined a person’s identity may also need to evolve. This could refer to fashion choices, artistic expressions, or even communication styles that no longer resonate with their current self. Embracing change in these areas can be a powerful statement of one’s growth and willingness to adapt to new circumstances or environments. It reflects a desire to align one’s outward appearance and behaviors with their internal values and aspirations.Additionally, the aspect of leaving people behind can be particularly challenging. Relationships that were once supportive may become toxic or limiting as one grows and changes. This might involve distancing oneself from friends or acquaintances who do not support one’s journey or who engage in behaviors that are contrary to personal growth. While this can be a painful process, it is often necessary for fostering a healthier and more fulfilling life.

• Not all advice is for you

  - Even from people you love, take what resonates, leave the rest. This principle emphasizes the importance of personal discernment in the process of receiving advice or opinions from those close to you. It acknowledges that while the intentions of loved ones are often rooted in care and concern, not every piece of advice will align with your own beliefs, values, or circumstances. It is crucial to sift through the myriad of suggestions and insights, identifying those that truly resonate with your unique experiences and aspirations.

  
  
  
  
  
  

• "I don't know yet" is a valid answer

  -Life isn't merely a checklist you have to rush through; rather, it is a rich tapestry of experiences, emotions, and moments that deserve to be savoured and appreciated. Each day presents us with a myriad of opportunities to learn, grow, and connect with others, and it is essential to recognize that the essence of life lies not in the completion of tasks, but in the journey itself. When we approach life as a series of items to tick off, we risk missing the beauty that surrounds us, the lessons that come from our challenges, and the joy that can be found in the simplest of moments. Instead of viewing life through the lens of productivity and efficiency, we should embrace the idea that every experience, whether significant or seemingly mundane, contributes to our personal narrative. By taking the time to pause, reflect, and engage fully with our surroundings, we can cultivate a deeper understanding of ourselves and the world around us, transforming our lives into a meaningful adventure rather than a race against the clock.

  
  

• Romantic love is beautiful, but self-respect is essential

  -Never trade one for the other. Romantic love is often portrayed as one of the most profound and exhilarating experiences in life. It can bring immense joy, passion, and fulfillment, making individuals feel alive and connected to another person in a way that is unique and transformative. However, amidst the intoxicating allure of love, it is crucial to remember that self-respect is equally important, if not more so. Self-respect serves as the foundation upon which healthy relationships are built. It involves recognizing one's own worth, setting boundaries, and understanding that true love does not require sacrificing one's dignity or personal values.

  When individuals find themselves in a romantic relationship, the excitement and emotional highs can sometimes cloud their judgment, leading them to compromise on their self-respect. It is vital to maintain a balance where love enhances one's life rather than diminishes it. A relationship should uplift and empower both partners, allowing them to grow individually and together.

• Hustle culture is overrated

  - Reset is part of productivity, not the opposite of it. Reset is an essential component of productivity, not merely the opposite of it. In our fast-paced world, where the demands of work and life can often feel overwhelming, taking the time to reset can be a powerful strategy for enhancing overall effectiveness. This process of resetting allows individuals to step back, reassess their priorities, and recharge their mental and physical energy. By intentionally creating space for rest and reflection, we can clear our minds of clutter, reduce stress, and ultimately improve our focus and creativity.

  Moreover, resetting is not just about taking breaks; it's about cultivating a mindset that values balance and well-being. When we incorporate regular resets into our routines, we foster resilience and adaptability, which are crucial traits in navigating challenges and achieving long-term goals. These moments of pause can lead to greater clarity, enabling us to approach tasks with renewed vigor and innovative thinking.

• Health is a privilege

-Take care of your body before it demands your attention. Health is often regarded as one of the most valuable assets a person

can possess, yet it is frequently taken for granted. In many societies, the ability to maintain good health is not an automatic right but a privilege that can be influenced by various factors including socioeconomic status, access to healthcare, and lifestyle choices. This perspective highlights the importance of recognizing health not just as the absence of illness, but as a holistic state of physical, mental, and social well-being. To truly appreciate the privilege of health, one must consider the various dimensions that contribute to it. These include proper nutrition, regular physical activity, mental health care, and adequate rest. Each of these elements plays a crucial role in maintaining overall health and well-being. For instance, a balanced diet rich in vitamins and minerals can bolster the immune system, while regular exercise can improve cardiovascular health and enhance mood. Moreover, mental health is equally essential, as it can significantly affect how we manage stress, relate to others, and make choices. Engaging in activities that promote mental well-being, such as mindfulness, therapy, or simply taking time for oneself, can greatly enhance one's quality of life.

• Comparison steals joy

  -Social Media only shows the highlight reel of people's lives, creating an illusion of perfection that can lead to feelings of inadequacy and dissatisfaction. In today's digital age, social media platforms have become an integral part of our daily lives, allowing us to connect with friends, family, and even strangers across the globe. However, the curated nature of these platforms often means that users only showcase their most glamorous moments, such as vacations, achievements, and celebrations. This selective sharing can create a distorted perception of reality, where it seems that everyone else is living a life filled with joy and success, while we may feel stuck in our own struggles and challenges.

  As we scroll through endless feeds of perfectly staged photos and inspirational quotes, it's easy to fall into the trap of comparison. Taking breaks from social media or curating our feeds to follow accounts that promote authenticity and vulnerability can help create a healthier relationship with these platforms. Ultimately, embracing our unique stories and celebrating our progress can help us reclaim our joy and foster a more positive outlook on life.

  
  

• Travel doesn't have to be far

  -New experiences can be right in you neighbourhood. Waiting to be discovered. Many people often assume that travel requires extensive planning, long flights, or significant financial investment. However, the reality is that some of the most enriching experiences can be found just a stone's throw away from home. Exploring Local Attractions Consider the local parks, museums, art galleries, and historical sites that may be within walking distance or a short drive from your residence. These places often offer unique insights into the culture and history of your area, and visiting them can provide a fresh perspective on your surroundings. For example, a local museum might host rotating exhibits that showcase the work of local artists or tell the story of the community's heritage, offering a deep dive into the artistic or historical narrative that you may not have previously appreciated. Nature and Outdoor Activities If you are someone who enjoys the outdoors, take advantage of nearby hiking trails, nature reserves, or waterfronts. Spending time in nature not only enhances your well-being but also allows you to explore the biodiversity that exists close to home. Whether it's a leisurely walk through a botanical garden or a more challenging hike up a local mountain, these experiences can rejuvenate your spirit and provide a sense of adventure without the need for extensive travel. You might even choose to take up birdwatching or photography, discovering the beauty of your surroundings in a new light. Learning Opportunities Additionally, many local libraries, community centres, and educational institutions offer workshops and classes that can expand your skills or interests. From cooking classes featuring local cuisine to art workshops led by talented local artists, these opportunities can foster personal growth and creativity. Engaging in such activities not only enhances your knowledge but also connects you with like-minded individuals who share your passions.

  
  

• It's okay to start over

-Every ending is just a new beginning in disguise. Starting over can often feel daunting, yet it is a natural part of life that

many individuals experience at various stages. Whether it’s beginning anew in a career, moving to a different city, or even embarking on a new relationship, the act of starting over can be both liberating and intimidating. It allows us to shed the weight of past experiences, mistakes, and disappointments, offering a fresh canvas on which to paint our future. Embracing this opportunity can lead to personal growth and self-discovery.

When we consider the idea of starting over, it’s important to recognize that it is not a sign of failure, but rather a courageous step towards improvement and change. Life is filled with unexpected twists and turns, and sometimes the path we initially choose may not lead us to the happiness or fulfillment we seek. In such cases, the ability to

reassess our situation and take the leap into something new can be incredibly empowering. It signifies resilience and the willingness to adapt, qualities that are essential for navigating life's complexities.

• Your worth isn't tied to productivity

  -Your worth isn't tied to productivity . In today's fast-paced society, the notion that our value is directly linked to our

  productivity is a pervasive belief that can lead to detrimental effects on our mental health and overall well-being. Many individuals find themselves caught in a relentless cycle of work, striving to achieve more, produce faster, and meet ever-increasing expectations. This constant pressure can create a sense of inadequacy, making us feel as though we are never enough unless we are constantly busy or achieving tangible results.

  However, it is essential to recognize that our intrinsic worth as human beings is not defined by our output or the number of tasks we complete in a given day. Each person possesses unique qualities, skills, and attributes that contribute to their individuality and make them valuable members of society, regardless of their productivity levels. Our worth is inherent and does not fluctuate based on our work performance or accomplishments.

As I look back on the years in my20s, I realize these lessons aren’t just milestones, they’re stepping stones shaping the person I’m becoming. From learning how to care for myself, to building healthier relationships, to embracing both mistakes and victories, each moment has carried a lesson worth holding onto. If you’re in your 20s (or remembering them), know that it’s okay to not have everything figured out yet, growth comes in seasons.

Here’s to moving forward with more wisdom, grace, and courage to keep learning, no matter what age we’re in.

Thanks for reading

xo Abigail

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